Fall is here and winter is around the corner. Crap. I don’t say “crap” just for the winter weather that I loathe so much, either. I say “crap” because of the critters that just won’t stay outside.

We have glue traps everywhere, and regular mouse traps and rat traps and, well, pretty much anything other than poison. I won’t allow honey to put down poison because we have so many pets.

In the fall we start getting flying squirrels and field mice. Yes, our house is clean, there is no clutter and our food is put away. They are just cold and looking for a place to huddle up for winter. Preferably with some nice big dog and cat bowls that get filled every day and a few choice computer wires to chew on.

I hate rodents. I hate them so much. And the glue traps? Don’t kill them right away. Oh no, you have to either resign yourself to going to hell for sitting there living your life while some poor defenseless critter screams the screams of the dying rodent in your walls, or resign yourself to being a rodent killer and put the poor thing out of its misery.

I am not a girly girl as a general rule. The mouse or squirrel running over my foot doesn’t make me jump on a chair, but Hell Yes it makes me squeal in surprise. And the mercy killing? Completely and totally, 100 % honey’s job. He’s more of a softie than I am, yet I make him kill the rodents. I. Just. Can’t. Stomp. Their . Cute. Yet. Possibly. Infested. Little. Heads.

So today? I caught a flying squirrel in a glue trap. Then I called honey at work (trust me, I do not call honey at work, ever) ot come get rid of it because the screams and the death throes were just too much.

Ew Ew Ew Ew Ew Ew Ew Ew

Here is a flying squirrel (cute little fucker, isn’t it?):

This is what the cute little fuckers do when they feel cornered, whether they are in your house or outside:

Here is a field mouse (not as cute as the wide eyed flying squirrel, but still…):

Now Listening: The crumbling of my conscience. Oh, and Siouxsie and the Banshees.

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View Comments to “Ew Ew Ew Ew Ew”

  1. pippa says:

    EYEW!!!!!!!!!

    I’m going to have nightmares for days.

  2. eeew… yes… i would fucking MOVE… guess its BEST to visit you AFTER the FALL season… please tell me they go away by january?

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