As many of my long time readers know, I went to a therapeutic reform school for part of high school. It is where I met my honey, though we didn’t date until much later, and my best friend Meleah, and many other people who are still a major force in my life. I get asked repeatedly how we have maintained such a tight-knit bond over the course of more than 20 years, and the answer is that we basically survived a cult together. It’s the same reason we are able to make instant friendships with other survivors of the school, whether they went there with us, before us or years later. All you have to do is say “Cascade School”, and anyone who went there immediately understands more about you than any one you meet after ever could.
A friend from the school posted a link to an article that flooded me with memories, memories that have been plaguing me since two books came out that were written by graduates of the school: Gone to the Crazies and Oh The Glory Of It All. How can perfect strangers presume to know so much about someone who shared the experience of Cascade, even if they weren’t there at the same time as you were? Because the devices and techniques used to control and “reform” were basically the same, with some variations, from year to year.
We recognize that survivorship in each other across space and time. Some of us resisted much of the cult-like reform technique while there, myself included, spending much of our time being punished for not towing the line. Some bought into the package hook line and sinker and take offense at anyone who voices their bad experience. Some, like my honey, were lucky enough to find a middle ground – a way to “work the program” on the surface, without selling their soul in the process. However you got through it, we all have the same touchstones form that time in our lives, no matter how long we stayed in.
Articles like the one in Mother Jones and others I have read on Synanon, the cult that spawned these schools, always make me reflect on how lucky I feel to have such a resistant, recalcitrant personality. I was able to leave the experience with the core of who I am still intact. Others weren’t so lucky – they long for a return to what they perceive as the safe cocoon of the school, unable to cope with life in the real world.
Many of the graduates went back to the lifestyles they had before the school, myself included. Some went on to worse lifestyles and had to claw their way up from the bottom once again. Some don’t make it – the suicide rate for graduates of the school is high, as is the rate of drug abuse, alcoholism, promiscuity and divorce. When you are one of those unable to disengage from the cult mentality or resist the brainwashing altogether you can waste your whole life looking for that kind of connection – since it was a manufactured connection powered by a cult mentality base you will never find it.
One good thing came from the school – friendships. In addition to the 40 kids in my “peer group” or “family” I can safely say that I feel every graduate of that school is a true friend. We shared something – whether you think it is something awful or something beautiful, it was shared, and it created powerful memories. Honey and I often disagree on whether the school was bad or good, but we both wholeheartedly agree that we love the connections we still have from that time in our lives.
Were you a graduate of Cascade, Cedu, Rocky Mountain or any of the other therapeutic reform schools based on the teachings of Synanon in the 80s and 90s? If so, drop me a line in the comments. Not only am I always happy to make friends with other Cascade survivors, I also run an alumni group for former Cascadians on Yahoo with another grad and I own and run an alumni forum for Cascade grads that is spam free, unlike Yahoo, and have group URLs for the survivors of the other schools – you are not alone.
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Oh Leslie!
This was an excellent CASCADE post. I LOVED this post. and YOU.
xxoo.
Im all teary over here….damn it.
I went to Cascade in early 1991 and left in May 1992 when I turned 18 – running across these references to the school (I saw the mother jones article) always just floor me and send me for a loop – memories really flood back. I was one of those who went along on the surface while trying to keep something of myself intact. I felt that was the path of least resistence – I’ve never been one to stuggle so hard against the tide – was the only way I’d come out the other side intact. I certainly respect those who had the strength to do so but I never could. It was the only way I could really handle the whole situation. I’m glad to say I went on to ultimately be okay. I am very happily married now (almost 7 years) with 2 great kids – a college degree – an almost complete masters degree and a decent job. It took me many years to put cascade behind me and some days (like today running across this) I don’t think I ever will.
Hi cascadians. This brings up a lot of memories for me. I've not revisited my cascade years too much, I really just left and tried to be happy. I'd love to hear from people who were at Cascade. Hi its Lena Freudenthal lenielene@yahoo.com
Hi cascadians. This brings up a lot of memories for me. I've not revisited my cascade years too much, I really just left and tried to be happy. I'd love to hear from people who were at Cascade. Hi its Lena Freudenthal lenielene@yahoo.com
Very nice post. I love your story and this story is the reality of life. Many students after they graduate find their own lives it depends on them which life they want to choose after they graduate.
Knowledge gives weight, gives glory to achievement, most people only see the glory, not to weigh the weight! http://www.alliask.net