The Years of Driving Dangerously

Bad drivers piss me off. What do I think constitutes bad driving, you may wonder? Well, I’ll tell you:

• people who drive too slowly and impede traffic cause traffic jams and excessive breaking behind them, leading to fender benders and worse. If you can’t, or won’t, reach the speed limit (at least) or preferably keep with the traffic flow, get off the road.

• people who don’t signal properly when making a traffic maneuver (read: most of New England). By not letting drivers around you know you are about to make a turn or change lanes you are creating a dangerous situation. It is arrogant and ignorant to assume that other drivers “should see you” or “should know what you are thinking of doing”.

• people who slalom, bob and weave in traffic on the highway. Going slightly over the speed limit is not only perfectly safe with proper signaling and alert driving habits, it is often essential to keeping with traffic flow and not causing a traffic jam and subsequent fender benders. Getting impatient or hotdogging to impress someone leads to cutting lane changes too close to the cars you are passing, causing accidents, traffic jams and injuries.

• people who do anything other than drive and listen to tunes while on the road. Eating, cell phone use (even with hands free head sets), putting on make up*, reading*, turning from the road to converse with passengers or discipline children, steering with your knees to dial a number on your cell or light a cigarette, and many more things I’ve seen are huge hazards to yourself and other drivers. *and thinking you can do either of these two in a moving vehicle may also make you functionally retarded – with any luck someone will revoke your day pass soon.

• senseless brakers. You know who you are. You either drive with one foot on each pedal, mercilessly causing whiplash among your hapless passengers and skidding traffic jams behind you (especially in inclement weather) or you just never learned to try slowing down by removing your foot from the gas first, then lightly touching the brake only if needed.

• the heavily medicated. These are people of all ages: taking NyQuil at 5 AM in a desperate attempt to sleep for just. one. hour. before work, then driving while still woozy from it; taking sleeping pills such as Ambien or Lunesta and not sleeping a full 8 hours and thus not allowing it to wear off; people on some cold or allergy medications, such as Benedryl, which can have an effect on your reaction times; people with chronic illnesses such as diabetes who refuse to follow the diet and instead self medicate through insulin use and other means, risking the poor reaction times and erratic behavior that preclude an episode; druggies (yes, even pot: no matter how legal it should be it does not help your driving skills); and people who drink heavily and drive home.

• the elderly. The elderly are by far the worst offenders in my book. Even healthy people over a certain age run the risk of decreased reaction times, slipping vision abilities, excessive tiredness and more, not to mention the plethora of medications doctors like to prescribe for ailments that traditionally effect the aging population (from heartburn and high blood pressure to osteoporosis and more these days). This article lays it out far more succinctly than I ever could. I believe in required re-testing of the physical driving test, as well as an eye exam and a doctor-certified clean bill of health (or at least a list of any medications that could impair driving) every year starting at age 60. Why a young age 60? Because everyone ages differently, and some earlier than most. Picking one, younger age makes it less personal, and less like a slap in the face. You would know it is coming. You could prepare. Plus, if the worst happened and you had to lose your license, your kids wouldn’t have to be the enforcers who take it from you, sparing your relationship with them. I’m sure some feel this is “picking on the elderly”. Maybe. But I know the lives of the masses outweigh the “feeling of independence” of the elderly drivers in my book.

How did this Libertarian chick become so in favor of bureaucratic / political intervention in the life of an individual? Since I met the coolest lady ever on the bus in Santa Barbara many years ago. She was drop dead gorgeous, didn’t look a day over 45, intelligent and fun to talk to. The conversation somehow shifted around to why she was taking the bus. When she told me she was 60 and had turned in her license, my jaw dropped. I immediately assumed that she perhaps had a disease that made it unwise to drive, but she relieved me of that notion quickly. It turns out she had always promised herself that she would give up her license while she was healthy and had all of her faculties, and long before it became an issue. She figured she lived in a town with fantastic public transportation and that not only would she meet new people, she would be healthier longer from forcing herself to be more mobile. My paraphrasing doesn’t do her justice, but she has been on my mind ever since for her far-sighted approach to a sticky issue.

Now listening to: The Cure Boys Don’t Cry

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