So, I went to a really weird high school at one point. I’ve written about it here before, but suffice to say that for many reasons the bonds formed there were quite strong. Now, it’s *mumblemumble* years later, and there was a reunion of sorts last month. Mind you, this school does no lend itself to the usual style of reunion, so anytime we get together it involves folks from many grad years at the school.
Anyway, the reason I’m writing is that I couldn’t go. A combination of work and life things created a perfect storm of not being able to make it happen to be there. And while I knew I would miss seeing everyone very much, I just wasn’t expecting to be so incredibly SAD about it even weeks later. I guess I really needed to renew those connections with the folks who know me best.
So this heartfelt I miss you all goes out to my friends from that school. Brothers and Sisters all.
Many of you know I have a tattoo on my wrist (one of many), but not many know why, or what it says. It is a Celtic tattoo that has the symbol for the stages of a woman’s life repeated four times in the shape of a cross (there are four sisters in my family). Surrounding the symbol for the three stages of a woman’s life (child, mother, crone) are the Gaelic words for Kindness, Patience and Tolerance.
I don’t know what it is lately, but tolerance is the hardest for me to work on. You see, the tattoo is meant as a reminder. A reminder of my sisterhood, my family, our bond, yes, but also of my weaknesses as a woman. I think so far ahead, my brain moves so fast, and I do so much that often I skip all of those good traits in favor of expediency in business. So my tattoo does double duty as my Wonder Woman bracelet – protecting me against becoming so focused on success that I’m not a human practicing business with and for humans.
Tolerance in my business dealings is ok, but in life outside of work? Lately I need, well… work. For some reason, though I can usually keep an even keel, so much annoys me. It’s as if I stand alone sometimes, impatiently taping my foot and waiting for the world to be more in tune with me. I think I need to work harder to be more in tune with it lately. I was told once long ago that I should focus on being a kind and accepting woman. Accepting and tolerance go hand in hand. I often struggle with the fine line between accepting too much (which can lead to being a pushover) and not accepting enough (being intolerant of the different paces we all live and work at).
What do you do when you get out of synch and things you struggle with rear their ugly heads?
What’s on your Bucket List? I’m talking about my Bucket List over here today.
Talking about being a quitter and helping raise money to fight cancer over on Uptown Uncorked this week. Monday is d-day. Will I raise even one day worth of being a quitter? I have until Monday to find out.
I’m a great business owner and event planner. I responsibly pump any extra income right back into each of my businesses (I have two) and each of my events (I have four I run, some monthly, some yearly) so that I can grow the business and so that I can keep offering the educational events I run at free or low cost for people to come and learn.
This is GREAT news for my business contractors and clients and folks who want to feed their brains. It’s kind of bad news for my tattoo. Remember my tattoo? I got it outlined last August. That’s right – it’s almost been a year. A YEAR!
I’m starting to feel like I won’t finish it. That would be bad since it is kind of large and in a prominent place (my lower leg – it’s a calf piece).
Someone suggested I take tattoo donations. Interesting idea. Another person suggested I stop pumping money into my work and go do something fun. Tempting, but I can’t in good conscience abandon those I contract with, clients, etc for something fun, now can I? 
What would you do??
… but I AM shrinking. It even inspired a tweet today:
‘Why is not having a microwave helping?’ is the question I got the most in response to my happy tweet. Basically, when I have a microwave, it encourages me to be lazy with food and to cheat. I’m busy, so it makes it “ok” to eat processed, carbo loaded and sodium heavy foods. By not having one, I’m turning to fast but healthy alternatives like easy to whip up spinach and herb salads for lunch topped with leftover protein from the night before. By eliminating most carbs in this modified Paleo diet concept I’m trying (No, not wine. Sorry, my dedication only goes so far, people. *wink*) and adding more fresh veggies and lean meats and fish and grilling nightly instead of cooking inside with a ton of sauces, I’m starting to see a real difference. I’m full. I eat less. I walk more to run simple errands. So far? This has been relatively painless to make as a change.
Keep your fingers crossed, folks. I miss my skinny ass. It hasn’t been gone THAT long, but this short frame was made to be 120 lbs, not *mumblemumble* lbs.
This week marked the passing of our Antique Rottie Dog™. He made it to 15 and his sister made it to 13 before she passed a while back. The cats passed away at 17. I’d say everyone had a pretty good run, and I know they were all well loved and treated like fur kids/part of the family.
The question I get asked most, being such a sucker for animals: will I get another one? Of course, but not soon. It’s time to take a bit of a break before committing to be another loving animal’s next forever person. It’s going to take time to stop saving a bite of my steak for my boy, or wondering if it’s so quiet in the house because he’s into something or napping. And it definitely much more quiet in here with all of the pets now gone.
Thanks to all of my furkids for being my loyal friends and companions for so long, and for happily traveling with me to every apartment and house in every state and city I’ve lived in over the last 17 years. Furry unconditional love is a blessing.
The comment I have gotten the most since the move. Previous to the move it was “Wow, you packed fast!”
I have been unpacking fast. Not fast enough for my taste, but hey, I have to work while doing it. Why? Well, let’s just say that while I love my family, I grew up in a hoarding house with the folks, and my adopted grandma was a hoarder of food and things as well. Few things drive me crazier than ‘miscellaneous stuff’. I don’t even like having shelves, because I don’t want people to feel like knick knacks are appropriate gifts. I assure you, I’m only going to regift anything that sits on a shelf that isn’t a book (and I even donate as many of those as possible to senior centers, prisons, and libraries).
The best part of the move for me, hands down, was getting rid of over half the crap accumulated over being in one house so long. This was a painful process for The Dude. He has a few hoarding tendencies of his own, and definitely gets emotional and territorial about his ‘stuff’. I am here to tell you folks, the stuff is not the memory. Take a picture of whatever it is if possible and put it in a photo album with the story written next to it then toss the item – you’ll feel so much more free. Not only that, but the generations to come will know the story behind the item and can share your happy memory, long after you are gone. If it’s just a thing on your shelf or in your attic, only you will ever know the story – how selfish.
I keep a few things: photos in albums, things other people wrote, some first edition books, some record albums. Most of the time, though, I toss, sell or donate anything I haven’t used in six months that isn’t seasonal or legal documents. I don’t need ‘miscellaneous stuff’ to remember the story of my life. I remember it in telling others about it, and it’s a nice light feeling to connect that way and not drag a bunch of baggage around. I highly recommend cleaning out your actual and mental attic this summer.
Found a place, moving as we speak. SO excited. Should be all settled in, one small carload at a time, by the end of the month.
Did I mention I’m excited??
…to move. The day can not come soon enough. Well, ok, I’m not packed yet, so maybe it could come a bit too soon if I don’t get off my butt and start packing, but I think you get my meaning.
To be in a town with food that delivers. With a variety of food that delivers. With a health food store. With people I work with and are friends with. With cultural activities. Close to many of my clients. The list of positives in this scenario goes on and on. I can not wait to move.
To be far from my crazy pyro neighbor and able to open my windows on a nice day without my house filling up with smoke, or simply to not have to listen to her OCD self mow her grass for 12 hours until it is some imaginary perfect length or leaf blow the grass the just raked… ah, bliss. I can not wait, I tell you.
Of course, the move is proving interesting. What I should be able to do with my social network is tweet and facebook that I’m moving and looking for a good place and handle it in minutes. But I can’t. Why? Because roomie is so afraid that if people here in podunk find out we’re leaving the town, even just going 1/2 hour away, that he’ll be shunned form work and friends. And you, know – he’s right. and that attitude from the people here means I can not wait to move.
Sane people in my future? Yes, please.
I’ve been blawging over at Uptown Uncorked and Film POP! for a few days and neglecting this one (isn’t that how it always works?) so I’d thought I’d do a drive by post.
What music do you like to work to? I like a wide variety of music (my iPod
is full of 30,000+ vastly different genres and vastly different levels of popularity in artists – everything except opera). My favorite to focus and work by are iTunes Genius mixes seeded by great little known or up and coming bands. Today’s mix is seeded by Yeasayer‘s new song Ambling Alp off of their new CD Odd Blood, and it is a whole bunch of awesome.
In other news: the sun is out! After days of monsoon like rain, and more gale force winds, this is truly great news. I’m a sun lover, and I really feel my best when I get a daily dose of liquid happy, something often hard to come by here in snowy, rainy, windy, cloudy New England.
So, have a little happy today with the sunshine and this Blip of Yeasayer’s Ambling Alp, and tell us about what makes you happy in the comments.
I sat down to write a whole other post and then ended up fixing some technical stuff on the backend of the blog and… forgot what the heck I wanted to write about. I’m sure it will come back to me, in the meantime, did you know NH is in the middle of yet another extended winter power outage? It blows.
We had a storm Thursday come in from the ocean with winds that gusted as high as 91mph, knocking tress and power lines down, and killing power to about 300,000 in the state. Maine, Vermont and Massachusetts had their own power outages, but NH got the brunt of it. Our house has been out since Thursday night (fun times).
I bailed to Massachusetts with the dog Saturday night because I was already fighting off a cold ro something and he is ancient and arthritic (14 year old Rottie) so after day two of camping out in the frigid house (no water, no heat, no food, no generator, etc) we both were the worse for wear. Honey stayed behind to work (lots of cleanup to do). Brave honey!
I was so fast in my escape I forgot several important things in my packing. Most notably on the forgotten list: eye glasses. Also, pants. That right, I hustled away with only the sweats I’d slept in on I was so cold. Oops. A trip to the mall and an unplanned expense later and I’m all set but I was looking very ghetto for a while there. I also forgot dogfood but we visit this place enough they had some. Whew. So, since I can’t see anything but a blur, it’s a good thing I touch type, though I’m sure I’ll read this back and find a million typos later. Do I win for worst pseudo-refugee packing job ever? Who leaves without pants!?
Also, Unitil, if you are reading this: I would really like my power back. It’s nice I have a refuge to work from, but I’m imposing, the dog is being stubborn and missing his dad so not listening to me, I’m hemorrhaging money staying away from the house and eating out (and buying pants at mall prices), and I’d just in general like to get back to life as normal if you don’t mind… preferably before having to make a bunch of calls tomorrow.
2010 is already showing signs of zipping by every bit as quickly as 2009 did. I don’t really make “resolutions”, per se, but I do take words and hold them as goals, taking an almost meditative approach to improving myself.
ONE: In 2008 I vowed to lose weight. I needed to lose 80 pounds. I’m only 40 into it after two hectic years of working my ass off at… work. Now that my work is reaching a rhythm and growing it’s time to reach that goal. To do that I need to meditate on the word: Balance. I need to do a better job of balancing my schedule to fit in time for my health and well being. Only if I force myself to balance things better will that happen. The issue I run into is that to me my work is FUN – so much fun. To some I’m a workaholic, but I just love it. Down time just doesn’t appeal to me, I like to go-go-go. So, word one this year: BALANCE.
TWO: The second meditation word for 2010 is GLOBAL
The back story for word two is private, but I think between those two words, I should have my hands full in 2010, don’t you?
Though word one is about more than weight, for illustrative purposes with the goal of taking another photo comparison at year end as part of that:
Current me after sporadic dieting and sporadic exercise since 2008:
Goal me:
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