A common myth (or several) about becoming an author published by a large publishing house is that you will automatically get a huge advance then make tons of money as people flock to buy your book, thanks in large part to the extensive help you get in publicity from your publishing house.

Not.

First lets dispel the myth of the “huge advance”. Advances are based on potential sales. Stephen King most likely gets a “huge advance” now after years of proven sales, but got the same piddly advance the rest of us get when he first started out. Also, the advance comes out of your sales – it’s called an advance because you have to make it back for the publisher in your sales (and in some cases pay it back if your sales fall short – shudder).

As to the myth of publicity from the publisher – basically, unless you write several books a year (think of Stephen King) or have a breakaway smash hit and churn out a series of books (think of the Harry Potter series) or crossover into other mediums (think King and Potter books for movies, George R R Martin for TV, Jim Kelly for podcasting and magazines, Scalzi for web books, etc), you are own your own completely for publicity and sales outreach.

I have two books through Wiley & Sons Publishing out of NY, under the For Dummies imprint. My most recent, Social Media Metrics for Dummies, just hit shelves in June (purchase link). Wiley offers some help with PR (public relations) in the form of collecting and promoting the speaking engagements and signings I set up on my own, connecting me with speaking engagements via their Wiley Authorities Speak program and approaching me with gigs that are appropriate for my book when they come their way. There isn’t really a “media blitz” or a “book tour” unless I self finance one (not gonna happen) or get sponsored for one (sponsors welcome!)

Since I knew all of this before I started and thought that attaining my dream of being a published author by a large publishing house was worth it, I am ready and willing to promote the hell out of my book and ensure it reaches success. Even more importantly than that, I’m promoting the hell out of it because I think it will help people understand how to measure all the stuff they do for themselves and their business online, and I love helping people.

So where do you come in? Well, it’s nice to toot my own horn all the time, but it’s the reader reviews, ratings, recommendations, ebook public notes and highlights, book reports and shared links out there that keep my book (and books by your other favorite authors) ranking high enough on sales sites to show up in search and lead to sales. For example, on Amazon, they put the star rating and reader reviews far, far down the book page – but those 4 and 5 star ratings and happy reviews are essential to a good ranking, which is essential to sales. So I get to beg for readers to go back to the page and review my book, because Amazon makes it inconvenient to do so.

Here is my Amazon rating today (a little trivia for you: other book sellers keep these hidden unless you buy access to the stats through the Neilsen system at $100+ a month, or you have to wait for the publisher to give you a lump sales number without bookseller detail broken out at the end of each month):

I want this book to be a best seller. That means that while 115,000 ish is great in terms of being on the virtual shelf with millions of books, it’s a long way from the top 100, which is what makes it a best seller.

Can you help me out? Buy, Share, Rate, and Review this book! Help it reach the top of the charts – it really will help you with your metrics in a way that is easy to understand. Here is the Direct to Amazon link if that’s your favorite store, or you can use the link in the paragraphs above to find it at your favorite book seller, including indies.

This old Wal-Mart was turned into a library.

Their web page has the full story and a great photo gallery.

It’s actually a lovely (huge) library, and I love what they did to improve the building.

video platformvideo managementvideo solutionsvideo player

Just in case you think I’m only on the alert for elderly drivers, here’s a new story about texting and driving in which a teen driver is the center of attention.

I talk about elderly driving, teen driving and distracted driving as separate issues to address because they are. Elderly driving requires a more emotional intervention to fix and a larger barrier of denial and inconvenience plus the perception of mobility and independence to deal with. My ideas to fix that are in part about dealing with the stigma of losing a license.

Teen driving issues center around inexperience plus that teen feeling of immortality – a deadly combo and an entirely different set of issues to surmount. This court case will have ramifications past the teen drivers out there, as it more directly addresses not just teen driving, but the third leg of the bad driving triangle of doom: distracted driving.

A successful conviction in this case could effect actual change in the way we drive. Positive change.

The Verdict Is In – Maximum sentence of 5 years for two charges, but he only has to serve one year in jail.

I haven’t climbed on my elderly driving soapbox in a while. Not for lack of blog fodder (there are accidents daily I could write about), more for lack of time and also that the sheer number of accidents and deaths caused by elderly driving is just flat out depressing. Heaven forbid we cheese off the AARP hordes and require that everyone get tested yearly, equally, to keep their license starting at the arbitrary age of 60 (eye, medical, driving skills, paper driving test). Much better to kill off as many unrelated people as we can so we have some semblance of normalcy as we enter our doddering years.

The story that got my goat today is going around Facebook as a touching love story – a couple celebrating 72 years of marriage died holding hands. How sweet, I thought, clicking through to read. Then it was revealed they died because the man pulled in front of another car. That’s right – 90+ and stil driving, and he and his wife both paid the price. But hey, let’s cherish the fact that they died holding hands – never mind it was while on adjacent, tube filled ICU beds. I also noticed a lack of news on how the other driver that was put at risk fared, so I’m assuming they were ok.

I’ll spare you going off on yet another rant about this, and simply point you to my previous yammering about it below. And before you comment “Oh you won’t know until you are 40, or 50 or… how it feels to have your liberty taken away”, a) I am 40, and I’m well prepared to put myself to my own rule of yearly testing. Starting at age 40 for everyone is fine with me, 60 was arbitrary as an idea; and b) ask any driver, pedestrian, innocent farmer’s market shopper or random restaurant diner sitting too close to a window how it felt to have their liberty taken away by an elderly driver careening into them.

The original rant, full of great ideas, from back in 2006 (Also, holy crap I’ve been blogging a long time – I had a Live Journal before that, and others before that. Whew.)

Another incident sparked a post in 2007, with good statistics

The astronaut’s mom story sparked one in 2007 also

Some commentary on elderly driving sparked by CNN in 2008, with great information from a study

A sad tale about elderly drivers and newlyweds from 2010

And one on teen drivers, in the interest of fairness, from 2007

And from June 2012 – the first texting and driving manslaughter case

Totally not kidding. I saw it in Target. I knew I had to share.

I love marketing wackiness sometimes.

What has two thumbs and loves her job? THIS GIRL.

I write for my clients (non-fiction) and my own pleasure (fiction) often, but after writing Twitter for Dummies with Laura and Michael I wasn’t sure I’d write a business book for a major publishing house again any time soon. The amount of effort it takes to put a published work out is … let’s say a hard race against time and change, and leave it at that.

When Wiley & Sons Publishing asked me to write Social Media Metrics for Dummies, however, I said yes. I have a goal I want to achieve (well, a few, but only one is relevant here) and it seemed to fit nicely with that personal milestone I’m trying to reach.

Well, my first copies of my book arrived this weekend, ahead of the June 13 release date (currently moved up to June 7 for print, and already available in ebook format). The picture here is of me squeeing in delight, holding up the 2nd edition of Twitter for Dummies (Fitton, Poston, Gruen) I already had kicking around behind the new book, Social Media Metrics for Dummies (Poston).

If you pick it up, I hope it helps you, truly. There is a lot of noise and bad advice out there about this social media stuff, and a lot of great advice that goes unheard – I hope this book brings clarity to the concept of measuring social media and gives you the direction you need to kick it up a notch.  If you want a peek of what kind of information I talk about in it, you can follow it’s new Facebook Page or listen to a recent webinar I did with Awareness (or attend the next webinar coming up on June 20!)

I belong to a variety of product evaluation sites, one of which is Swaggable. My first product to evaluate came in the mail, designed to enhance my sleep.

I thought “Great! I sleep like crap, if at all, most nights – I’m a night owl with insomnia, double bonus. ‘Natural Sleep Aid’? Water? Let’s do this!”

Not so fast… the only ingredient I’ve heard of in this aside from water is melatonin. Fair enough, I know people who swear by that supplement.

But then a closer look at the label revealed a few other ingredients I’m not sure about and can’t spell, plus the phrase “to help deal with that energy drink you had earlier”.

Something powerful enough to cancel out overconsumption of energy drinks? That makes me nervous – what is this stuff??

I think I’ll pass… I like waking up every day. Maybe this is behind the zombie outbreaks lately. Just in case, I’m headed over to ZombieTools to stock up.

Well, parking lot robbery, anyway. I’m going to call it a “coincidence” that our sketchy neighbors with their sketchy friends got shown the door on their condo and on that same day all these sketchy people were helping them move out my car got robbed. I’d hate to accuse someone falsely, so let’s just say the timing is fascinating and leave it at that.

I filed a police report (the officers were super cute, so that was a plus), but I do not expect to see my trusty GPS, iPod Classic, pro dart set, brand new Snowboard, TV ears (yeah, I dunno why they took those either), $50ish in toll booth change or whatever else got stolen that I haven’t noticed yet ever again. For some reason they passed over a laser printer I was taking to my friend Kristen, my pool cue and some other stuff (and I just realized I should check the emergency kit to make sure its there, but I digress.) I bought a new GPS because, well, I like not being lost and I drive a lot for work. A new iPod is not in the budget right now (INSERT HUGE SADFACE. RADIO SUCKS). The rest was on its way to storage or friends’ houses, so I can’t say it will be missed, but man – I am cheesed off.

We have a nice little condo here, with nice neighbors that all “fit” – SINKs and DINKs (single/double income no kids) – professionals that for the most part don’t throw down, party too hard or cause problems.  Well, five of us fit. Unit 1 has been an issue. The unit has had 6 tenants – in TWO YEARS. All have been forcibly ejected. All have either not been a fit because they are sketchy, because they treat the condo like its Animal House, because they have way too many people in a two bedroom trying to make the rent, because they have horrible children or just because of some combination of the above or other issues. Most recent sketchy neighbors had the cops to the apartment 7 times, the ambulance twice, the fire department once – and they were only there two months!

The association laid down the law with the owner, requesting that he “reclaim” his unit (e.g. “move back in, since you can’t find good tenants, dude”). So he did. I was happy until I saw that he also has two kids under 6, and that he and his wife are obviously, blatantly, extremely not at all happy to have to move back in.  This should be interesting. Wish me luck for a mom who thinks roofs are dangerous and kids who pick up their toys and really, everything else will sort itself out. I am excited for the condo to get back to being a happy place.

I just thought this was too useful to know, so I’m sharing it here.  I know Monsanto food scares the crap out of me.

…but lately something sure has my tongue. I’m shrouded in silence. Still waters run deep – my brain won’t quit, I have lots to write about that’s on my mind, heck it would probably help to get all the thoughts out there, but…

invisible hands around my mouth

 

I decided to mess with their heads. Comment when you see what I did there.

 

If you have known me a while, you know I am not a sap, or a crier. I’ve always been a tough chick, a tomboy. In fact, in my distant past, occasionally kind of a brawler – not a bawler. First to get angry or sarcastic, last to get weepy. First to pick the action movie for the date, last to pick the rom-com. Well, not anymore, folks.

Last January I flipped some bizarre switch* and now? Now I cry at commercials. I get teary eyed at Extreme Home Makeover (OK, more teary eyed, that show gets to everybody). I get a little misty if the toilet paper is on the roll under instead of over. I watch Lifetime TV – on purpose. I have no idea who this emo pod person is who takes over my tear ducts any time I’m not busy with work or other purposeful tasks that require concentration, but I’d like them back please, so I can get them back to their dry, sandy normal condition all the time.

And while we’re on the subject, may I just ask other women who have always been this emotional – how the hell have you survived?? I really want to know. I’m going through Q-tips faster than a Real Housewife goes through handbags (pro-tip: handy for getting that mascara line from under the lower eyelid when unexpected leakage occurs at stop lights and other random places).

So, before I have to break out the sewing machine and make a low-cut dress befitting the internal damsel in distress I seem to have unintentionally tapped into, tell me your favorite trick to stemming this tide? I’m thinking of taking up ultimate fighting just to beat the annoying sap out of me. :)

*We all know what life event happened last January and I’m sure the timing is not a coincidence, but let’s save that for the therapist, shall we? I like to call her Dr. Cabernet.

2011 was a really difficult year. Heck, so was 2010. 2012 needs to get its act together, for everyone. Just sayin’

My grandma taught me to pick goal words when I was a kid. I’m having trouble picking them this year. She would be amused at the trend of picking words started in social media in recent years, and say something with her usual dry Southern wit about old things being new again. Then probably go make some cookies and tell us all to go play outside. She was a really smart lady and kept things simple.

I’ve owned my own business for a long time. For a long time it was just me, then me + collaborative teams of other business owners and freelancers, then some failed attempts at having employees or partners in addition to the collaborators.

It turns out that no matter how clear you are on the long sales process for what we do, the extremely hard work behind all the fun stuff, the extensive need for math via spreadsheets, metrics and measuring, the occasional non-paying client or more frequent slow-paying client – some people just don’t believe you. They partner up for fun stuff then shirk their work, or they simply bail out mid project, among other issues.

It’s all been a huge learning experience over the last few years, that’s for sure. Every time someone does something ethically bendy that affects me or my business, it is a learning moment that makes me and my business stronger, even if the process sucks. It’s taught me that a friendly, helpful exterior is often just that, and to be wary and look deeper.

On the relationship front, the past few years have been a challenge as well. I’ve written about that before, but there were hard endings I’m finding it hard to get out of my mind and new beginnings affected by the work stuff and other challenges. On the friend front, 2011 was amazing – I decided to make my friendships a priority – some span 20 or 30 years, some are new, but all matter, and I made sure they all knew it. That will not be stopping any time soon – it matters far too much.

If I tried to spell out everything that happened in the last few years this post would be a book. I was hoping to end it with two words to focus on for 2012 having surfaced but that isn’t the case. Maybe 2012 is the year I let unfold on its own and hope that it’s better than the years before for everyone I know and love – not just me.

Over on Twitter, I was lamenting being sick again this month due to people coming in to work or attending events while still suffering from their maladies. The responses I got to my complaint about being out 7 days with a nasty stomach flu (all because someone didn’t want to miss a party) and to watching people bring bronchitis, pneumonia and head colds in to the office building then brag about “still coming to work” “like a trooper” in the halls show me that we ALL hate presenteeism, and that there needs to be a workplace and societal shift away from this selfish behavior.

It also showed me that this particular response I got should really be a bumper sticker or a t-shirt:

“Coming in to work sick doesn’t make you dedicated. It makes you an asshole.”

I’d totally wear a shirt that said that with pride. Maybe I should make one. Heck, screw it, I did – I made a Zazzle store just for this saying.

The store is still populating so only the mug is showing at the moment, but the t-shirts, sweatshirts, baby dolls, etc should all show up soon. Enjoy!

Special thanks to friend Ryan N of NH, who is the one who said this to me in conversation. Ryan, if you are reading this and if I actually sell these you are totally getting half of my teeny Zazzle percentage. It cracked me up.

This post, called to my attention by Chris Brogan, illustrates so many things that are wrong for women who are online. Remember Kathy Sierra? I remember. I remember not liking then that she removed herself from online life in answer to the threats against her. I remember how badly I wanted her to stand and fight back.

Then I look, years later, at posts like this one at IttyBiz blog about being threatened and rethink that position. By asking women to stand and fight online are we putting our tech sisters in danger? I like that IttyBiz is both taking precautions and standing her ground, but the fact that this is ongoing, that bloggers like Queen of Spain and others get threatened for being visible, for having opinions that differ, for being successful, for just being women, galls me.

I am appalled at us as a culture that this is in any way “fine”. That more people won’t discuss this, and that many will poo-poo it.

I’ll have to think more about this issue and write a new post about ways I think we can tackle the problem, but for now – I wanted to help get the word out about the IzzyBiz situation, and I hope you share it also.

note: this post is being share on both of my blogs verbatim to help get the word out. apologies if you see it twice.

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